Cowboys vs babies

Dear Ron,

Some days I’m filled with wonderfully insightful wisdom on the subject of parenting. Other days I have relatively useless but slightly entertaining thoughts about kids. This definitely fits the latter and is proof positive that simply spending some time with your son can yield some interesting observations.

From the archives, I hope you enjoy.

Thinking of you.

Jason

cowboys and babies

 

The new concussion protocol

concussion

After 14 years of avoiding them, we’ve now entered the wonderfully terrible world of concussions. During a nordic ski race our daughter had a crash and had her proverbial “bell rung”. Concussion awareness is a big deal these days (see the NFL lawsuit and the new NHL protocol for examples in the pro sport world), and I’m grateful that the learning is yielding some positive steps for recovery. This is a far cry from when I was a kid and literally used smelling salts and a swig of water to get back on the ice or on the field of play.

Today, through the Return to Learn protocol, we have a structured step by step plan to follow. Once this has been achieved the Return to Sport guidelines will be followed. Bookmark these sites because they’re excellent. While I hope you never have to use them, they’ll be there should you or someone you know, need them.

While following these steps we noticed there is precious little to do for the modern tween or teen. No screens? Heavens above. After a couple of boring days we stumbled on the winning concept – audiobooks. Thanks to the good folks at the public library and our trusty internet connection, entertainment that is free of cognitive challenge is readily available. Add in a comfy couch by a window, a warm blanket and a pair of sunglasses and you’ve got yourself a decent recovery activity with some quality literature.

Share your wealth

Dear Ron,

One of the best things you can do for your son will be to hand him over to someone else. Not forever, just for a moment or two. People love babies and there is some sort of cosmic goodness that comes to anyone who lovingly holds one. When people other than mommy or daddy hold your babe, it helps them build a comfort level among others who aren’t their primary caregiver. While this is generally very hard for first time parents to do (third and fourth children not so much…) because we’re fearful that the other person might drop our child or hold them incorrectly or not be as attentive as we would be, the benefits of sharing your child far outweigh any negatives. Cute, cuddly little babies become heavier more demanding infants. Infants cry. A lot. If they only find comfort with one person and that person isn’t available, hysteria sets in. Life for that one person is also devoid of any independence and killer biceps are a poor consolation prize.

Our kids were both content in other’s arms. I attribute this partly to their personality but also to our willingness to pass them of. It’s easier with family and friends, harder with complete strangers but I can attest to the magic of it all. Your son will be a treasure. Share the wealth and reap the benefits.

Thinking of you.

Jason

holding the baby

 

 

Why did you bring me here?

doc visit

This is classic stuff. When kids get hurt they let you know, right away. Usually with volume. As they get older and we as parents get wiser, we wait a little bit to ensure the ailment is legit otherwise we’d be rushing off to the doctor every half hour. When the complaining has lasted long enough and is loud enough I’ll make the appointment and off we go. Inevitably, we’ll get to the doctor’s office and everything that was wrong has been magically fixed. This puts me in the wonderful position of looking like an overly stressed, suffocating hypochondriac who twitches at the sight of a runny nose. So it was, at a recent appointment that when our kindly doctor did ask why my son was seeing him, my boy turned to me and asked “Why did you bring me here?”. Sigh.

We’re fine!

we're fine

Ahhhhh kids, winter weather and clothing. My wise friend (who said he’d heard it from someone else but I’m crediting him anyway) said: “There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.” And he’s right. I fear it’s a rite of passage for all teens (and soon to be teens) to forgo the down-filled jackets, sheepskin lined mittens and micro fibre wicking toques, and to brave the elements for all they’re worth. I did it. I’ll bet you did it. The only difference now is that we’re the ones nagging because we know we’re the care-givers that have to be there for them to make chicken soup, take days of work and nurse them back to health when the inevitable happens. (And we haven’t even hit the -20’s yet!)

The art of the diaper change…

Dear Ron,

My apologies for not sending you a note these past couple of weeks, I’ve been busy with a new gig and time does just fly by. I’ve been thinking about you though, and other tidbits I can share about being a dad. I came across the drawing below while flipping through the Art of Dad archives and figured this was worth a note.

Boys and girls are different. We all know that, but what those who’ve never changed a diaper may not know is that gender and the accompanying equipment can have a profound effect on how that diaper change might unfold. I can’t remember a single time my daughter got me, but my son, well, that was a different story. I vaguely recall being warned, but having already changed diapers for nearly two years I’d thought I’d seen it all. I hadn’t. To wit, some suggestions for you when changing your son:

Keep the diaper bag/box/equipment very close. Reaching for it leaves you exposed and opens you up to trouble. Warning: they start wiggling sooner than you think and you’ll find yourself moving to keep up and your supplies just get farther and farther away…

Move quickly. Old one off, new one on. Putting the new one under the old one and doing the quick switch can be effective or at the very least, act as a shield until fully secured. Warning: This is easier said than done if you’ve got a scrapper or a happy-to-be-me-and-free baby.

Keep a washcloth over him while you struggle with the new diaper. Warning: Wrigglers will shake this loose almost immediately and duct-tape is frowned upon.

Minimize exposure time. The more time things are free and easy in the cool air the greater the urge to go. Warning: This is doubly tough if you are faced with diaper rash and believe in getting some air time to help lessen the rash. Somehow I always waited just a moment too long.

Invest in a full hazmat suit. This might be your best option.

Do be the kind of dad that changes your baby regularly, especially early on. Your lovely wife will have just had the workout of her life and will need lots of recovery time. This is a great way for you to help out and connect with your boy. Parenthood is dirty work. You will have things on you that you never dreamed of and running around like a lunatic screaming “GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!” will only be seen as entertainment and re-inforce the behaviour.

With that, I say be well my friend.

Jason

good stream

(And yes, he got me in all of these areas pictured and then some.)

Nocturnal newborns

Dear Ron,

I had a lousy sleep last night. I don’t why. It could have been the howling winds outside, or the financial issues on my mind or the extra glass of wine I had to combat the financial issues, whatever the reason it got me thinking about you and newborn sleeping patterns.

The effort required to parent is enormous. The feeding, changing, walking, anticipating, playing, cleaning, changing again takes so much of our physical, emotional and mental well being that 7:00pm looks like a perfectly reasonable bed time for a grown adult. What makes it even more challenging is that some babies, (our son for example) become nocturnal. How is this possible you ask? Don’t they just adjust to the rhythms and flow of every day life? No my friend. No. You can swaddle them within an inch of their lives, adjust the temperature in their room to the perfect setting, wrap them in the softest blankets made from beluga tears and unicorn hair and still they’ll act like badgers and bats (I learned badgers were nocturnal one night while watching an animal documentary at 3:00 in the morning with a fully awake newborn) just when you need your rest the most.

I have no great words of wisdom here other than this – get as much sleep now as you can. Bank it, because you’re going to be making more withdrawals than you are deposits. That and remember nothing lasts forever, it just feels like it’ll never end when you’re in the moment.

With that, I wish you a very good rest tonight.

Thinking of you,

Jason

 

nocturnal newborns