Dear Ron,
Some days I’m filled with wonderfully insightful wisdom on the subject of parenting. Other days I have relatively useless but slightly entertaining thoughts about kids. This definitely fits the latter and is proof positive that simply spending some time with your son can yield some interesting observations.
From the archives, I hope you enjoy.
Thinking of you.
Jason
Dear Ron,
One of the best things you can do for your son will be to hand him over to someone else. Not forever, just for a moment or two. People love babies and there is some sort of cosmic goodness that comes to anyone who lovingly holds one. When people other than mommy or daddy hold your babe, it helps them build a comfort level among others who aren’t their primary caregiver. While this is generally very hard for first time parents to do (third and fourth children not so much…) because we’re fearful that the other person might drop our child or hold them incorrectly or not be as attentive as we would be, the benefits of sharing your child far outweigh any negatives. Cute, cuddly little babies become heavier more demanding infants. Infants cry. A lot. If they only find comfort with one person and that person isn’t available, hysteria sets in. Life for that one person is also devoid of any independence and killer biceps are a poor consolation prize.
Our kids were both content in other’s arms. I attribute this partly to their personality but also to our willingness to pass them of. It’s easier with family and friends, harder with complete strangers but I can attest to the magic of it all. Your son will be a treasure. Share the wealth and reap the benefits.
Thinking of you.
This is classic stuff. When kids get hurt they let you know, right away. Usually with volume. As they get older and we as parents get wiser, we wait a little bit to ensure the ailment is legit otherwise we’d be rushing off to the doctor every half hour. When the complaining has lasted long enough and is loud enough I’ll make the appointment and off we go. Inevitably, we’ll get to the doctor’s office and everything that was wrong has been magically fixed. This puts me in the wonderful position of looking like an overly stressed, suffocating hypochondriac who twitches at the sight of a runny nose. So it was, at a recent appointment that when our kindly doctor did ask why my son was seeing him, my boy turned to me and asked “Why did you bring me here?”. Sigh.
Ahhhhh kids, winter weather and clothing. My wise friend (who said he’d heard it from someone else but I’m crediting him anyway) said: “There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.” And he’s right. I fear it’s a rite of passage for all teens (and soon to be teens) to forgo the down-filled jackets, sheepskin lined mittens and micro fibre wicking toques, and to brave the elements for all they’re worth. I did it. I’ll bet you did it. The only difference now is that we’re the ones nagging because we know we’re the care-givers that have to be there for them to make chicken soup, take days of work and nurse them back to health when the inevitable happens. (And we haven’t even hit the -20’s yet!)
This drawing pretty much sums it up…
We all know the days are long and the years are short, but summer, it just seems to fly by every year. There is a palpable freedom that comes with the summer months, best appreciated during one’s school years. It’s an easy comparison: sitting a desk or riding your bike/going for a hike/eating ice cream in the middle of the day/going to camp/wondering what to do to fill a day… Summer comes and we all take a deep breath to relax and when we release fully September has hit us and the new year starts.
When the kids were young I used to lie awake at night wondering if they’d like their teacher, if their friends would stay their friends, what they’d learn to love, what they’d learn to move on from. Now, with high school a part of our lives and another in middle school I find myself writing this late at night before the first day of school wondering, will they like their teacher, will their friends stay their friends, what will they learn to love and what will they learn to move on from. I guess not much has changed but it feels like the effects of these questions becomes more intense as they get older.
Thanks for the great memories summer 2017. Let’s make some new great memories over the next school year.
Do you ever have those mornings, when your alarm goes off and you have the best of intentions to hit the gym or catch-up on emails before the steady thrum of activity that consumes you’re every being when the kids wake-up begins and-you-just-can’t-pull-yourself-out-of-the-comfy-confines-of-your-soft-warm-bed…
Yeah, I know the feeling.
I always enjoy a pithy bit of conversation at the breakfast table.
Anne and Don were damn near impossible to keep still all head bobbing and strut-strutting about like grouse are want to do, but in the end it was all good.
The Art of Dad 