One of the best things you can do for your son will be to hand him over to someone else. Not forever, just for a moment or two. People love babies and there is some sort of cosmic goodness that comes to anyone who lovingly holds one. When people other than mommy or daddy hold your babe, it helps them build a comfort level among others who aren’t their primary caregiver. While this is generally very hard for first time parents to do (third and fourth children not so much…) because we’re fearful that the other person might drop our child or hold them incorrectly or not be as attentive as we would be, the benefits of sharing your child far outweigh any negatives. Cute, cuddly little babies become heavier more demanding infants. Infants cry. A lot. If they only find comfort with one person and that person isn’t available, hysteria sets in. Life for that one person is also devoid of any independence and killer biceps are a poor consolation prize.
Our kids were both content in other’s arms. I attribute this partly to their personality but also to our willingness to pass them of. It’s easier with family and friends, harder with complete strangers but I can attest to the magic of it all. Your son will be a treasure. Share the wealth and reap the benefits.
This is classic stuff. When kids get hurt they let you know, right away. Usually with volume. As they get older and we as parents get wiser, we wait a little bit to ensure the ailment is legit otherwise we’d be rushing off to the doctor every half hour. When the complaining has lasted long enough and is loud enough I’ll make the appointment and off we go. Inevitably, we’ll get to the doctor’s office and everything that was wrong has been magically fixed. This puts me in the wonderful position of looking like an overly stressed, suffocating hypochondriac who twitches at the sight of a runny nose. So it was, at a recent appointment that when our kindly doctor did ask why my son was seeing him, my boy turned to me and asked “Why did you bring me here?”. Sigh.
Raise your hand if you’re exhausted from shuttling your kids to and from school, playdates, after school activities, sports events…. the list never ends. I recently created a spreadsheet to share with a couple of other families in an effort to share the load in an attempt to alleviate that last minute anxious texting and calling. It’s sorta working…
Well, our friends in the auto industry are bringing us the future and it’s looking good. At the Consumer Electrics Show in Las Vegas Chrysler unveiled an electric, self-driving minivan that could completely eliminate the taxi dad and mom roles. Just imagine yourself grabbing another hot drink and picking up your book while the “Portal” whisks your kids to dance/ski/soccer/music/daycare/school… Ok, maybe it’s not quite like that but we taxi parents can dream, can’t we?
I can relate to that idea of getting warm when frustration builds and I’m guessing lots of other people can as well. Mindfulness and equanimity messaging is everywhere. It’s clear we need strategies to help us deal with situations that bring anxiety like being stuck in traffic or dealing with an obstinate co-worker.
Just because kids can’t drive or have to deal with bosses doesn’t mean they’re immune to frustration (as any parent on the planet will attest). Their problems may seem small to us but they are just as relevant to their day-to-day living. While I might point out that putting on one’s mitts AFTER one does up one’s jacket zipper would be a useful way to avoid a repeated frustration, that observation, in my household, would only serve to further ratchet up the heat.